I read some advice in a magazine the other day which initially impressed me, but upon further consideration I don’t think it was wise at all. The author said, ‘If you can’t forgive and forget, then choose one.’ Like I said, on the surface it seemed like a good philosophy until I thought it through.
Let’s say you couldn’t forgive someone a wrong so, following her advice you decided to forget. Good luck with that! Could you ever truly forget—how do you forget something that is gnawing away at you? There may be times when you do in fact forget about it, but it would always be there lurking in your sub conscious, ready to nudge you when you least expect it.
Even though it may be extremely difficult to forgive, if you do, then the process of forgetting, of letting go of the hurt, can at least start. So, far from choosing one over the other, we should firstly strive for forgiveness and then trust that the forgetting part will follow. You might still remember, but the pain of that memory will have diminished.
Lord, your Grace and Mercy towards us know no bounds. Help us to be as generous in forgiveness to others as you are to us.
Jacqui